Planning the Funeral

For those who lost children and other loved ones this week, following the mass shooting in Thousand Oaks, CA. 

Planning the Funeral

Tell me about your daughter.

What?

So that we can remember her well. So, her funeral will do her justice. I’d like to know about her.

How much time do you have?

I have all the time in the world. I do.

She lived eighteen years. I have so many stories. Like the morning she was born, and I first saw her little face through my own tears.

Like your tears today.

No. These tears are nothing like those tears.

I’m sorry. Tell me more.

She won best costume when she was in preschool. She was an angel. I used so much glitter on that costume! Her halo was made of tinsel from the Christmas decorations. I wrapped it around wire and put it on the top of her head. It bobbed back and forth when she laughed.

So sweet. What else?

She played the flute. She was good, too! She practiced every night when she was in high school. But she could only get second chair in the orchestra. She tried so hard. The flute makes a pretty sound. It can be so gentle. Maybe heaven sounds like flutes. I missed hearing her play when she went to college.

Is there a hymn or song you would like to sing or have played at the funeral? Something she would have liked?

We sang Amazing Grace at my father’s funeral. She played her flute for the last verse, no organ, just her flute. You know the verse, “When we’ve been there ten thousand years, bright shining as the sun…” There wasn’t a dry eye in the house.

I’m sure. That’s beautiful hymn. I’ll put it in the service. What else?

I think her brother might like to say something. They were very close. He was protective of his baby sister. He'd do anything for her.

Is there a scripture passage that meant something to her? Maybe a poem?

Let me think.  

She sounds like a wonderful girl. She was obviously very loved.

She was loved. Everyone who met her loved her. You know, she began a fundraiser for a boy in her school who had leukemia. She started it all by herself. All the money went to his hospital bills.

She had a big heart.

Yes. She did. But her heart stopped with the bullet. The gunman stopped her heart. When he shot her. Without a beating heart, you die.

I’m so sorry. This is such a tragedy.

Some people say we need more guns. I say, no more guns. Bullets stop hearts and steal children.

Yes.

Psalm 23.

What?

Psalm 23. I know everyone has that at their funeral. But I need to know she’s with someone who’s taking care of her. I need to know she’s safe. The Shepherd, right? It’s about the Shepherd who leads people and walks with people and protects them. He would be especially careful with children. Right?

Yes.

So, she’s with the Shepherd now.

Yes.

But she was my lamb.

Yes. Yes, she was. Are there other stories?

What? Oh, no. No more stories. 

But I have all the time in the world. I do.

No more stories.

But I would like to remember her well. You want that too, don't you?

I don't want to remember her! I want to know her. I want to see her graduate. I want to dance at her wedding. I want to see her children. I want to watch her twist her hair with her fingers while she talks on the phone. I want to watch her live!

I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.

Anyway...there’s not that much to tell.

Why not?

She was only eighteen. Her life hadn’t even begun. It seems like yesterday when I put the sparkly wings on her back and set the halo on her head. You know, when she was in preschool.

There was glitter everywhere. And as she laughed the halo bobbed back and forth, back and forth. 

The tinsel danced.

It sparkled in the light.